The Headache that Kuroko Has
by TheParadoxicalOxymoron
Summary: Having a little sister will inevitably turn up the spice in life. OOC!GoM Image by pixiv artist: 31014716 which I do not own. One-shot!


Hola, it is le awesome me. Here to kick ass and chew bubblegum. And I'm all out of asses. My anaconda don't want none BABY! I don't know what possessed me to write this monstrosity but here have at it.

OOC and utter madness? Obviously THIS IS SPARTA.

OC-insert, where I obviously don't own the KnB characters, just my sweet OC. /squishes her cheeks

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><p><strong>Big Brothers<strong>

Tetsuya's eyes widened at the sight of the young infant nestled within a swathe of blankets.

He gently patted the top of his sister's head. "I'm gonna be your big brother from now on Setsu-chan, and I'll protect you no matter what." The resolve in his eyes smoldered gently and would not be easily extinguished. She burbled cheerfully, kicking her legs in the air.

**Basketball**

In order to master the art of basketball, one must wash the basketball, embrace the basketball, inspect the basketball, date the basketball, smell the basketball, taste the basketball. BE THE BASKETBALL. (Spongebob Reference: Artist Unknown)

A giggling Setsuna picked up the basketball. She examined it carefully, turning it this way and that, before gleefully opting to sink her teeth into the hard round orangey piece of rubber that had been rolled in front of her by an equally amused older brother.

"Setsu-chan, SPIT THAT THING OUT RIGHT NOW!" The two siblings made a hasty disappearance as the child clapped her hands together cheerfully, slobbery basketball long forgotten on the ground.

**Exercise**

"You know you're gonna get fat from drinking all those milkshakes right? Why not try out a sport or something, to like help counterbalance all the non-healthiness?" A bored voice informed the child seated nonchalantly at the booth.

She slurped down the vanilla goodness in the plastic container even harder. "Sometimes I wonder if you have a brother complex or something, it'd certainly make sense as to how you seem to emulate him so much..."

The petite girl ignored the monotonous drone coming from the supposed adult baby-sitting her and looked sadly at the empty container, idly twirling the straw around and wondering if it would be okay to go for a third.

**Height (Part 1)**

Setsuna tip-toed to her very limit, feet wobbling as she placed herself beside the height marker. She was going to grow taller than her silly brother so she could laugh at him when she made fun of her for being so short.

**Dye**

"Sup, you know to suit our surname? I dyed my hair black. Or maybe cuz the school told me I had to, because apparently light blue violates school regulations. So yeah, peace out." She strutted away, praying internally she wouldn't get into too much trouble, much to the shock of her parents.

"KUROKO SETSUNA GET BACK HERE." She took off with a terrifying burst of speed, cackling wildly.

**Clubs**

A cacophony of chatter resounded around Teiko Middle School as the seniors tried their best to recruit new juniors.

"Uwahh, young miss, where'd you come from? Never mind, how about you come join the music club? It's great fun and you'll make tons of new friends!" A disinterested look was sent the senior's way.

"Free food?" A pen appeared out of thin air.

**Dress Up**

"I don't see why I have to do this. People hardly even notice me." She muttered under her breath.

"Treat this as training to help out with that then." "But I don't-"  
>She was hastily shoved out the club-room door.<p>

"Join the music club, yay." She tottered around in the newly given high heeled boots.

"Ah- kyaa." She tripped and the maid outfit she was forced in to flipped over, revealing her striped underwear to the world. Several boys fainted on the spot.

"Setsu-chan?!" Her brother rushed over hurriedly, having noticed the crowd of unconscious boys surrounding her as she stared around curiously.

**Bribery**

"Quit the music club."

"They have free food."

"I'll share my milkshake with you later."

She walked to the front of the club-room door and started stripping, plucking the cat-eared headband from the top of her head.

"W-whaaaa?" The senior gave a start at the not quite half naked girl and yanked her into the music room as she dully professed the reason why she had to quit the club.

**Balls to the Walls**

Tetsuya carefully guided his sister over to the basketball court where the rest of his team were chilling out, and the boys she walked past who had just encountered her undergarments shivered violently, feeling a cold gaze raising their goosebumps if they so much as looked at the girl.

"So this is Kurokocchi's little sister? She's so cute!" Kise stared admiringly at the girl, cooing over her petite form.

She tilted her neck upwards to meet the blond's excited gaze blankly. "Can I kick you in the balls?"

"E-ehhh?"

**Hallucinations**

Spotlights all focused on her. "SO WHO WILL YOU CHOOSE MISS BACHELORETTE? Will it be the competitive red-head, the blond model, the bust loving blue head, the horoscope obsessed green head, the sweets crazed purple head or perhaps the incestuous route-"

She woke up right there and sighed into her hands. "What a terrifying nightmare. Nii-san's friends are terrible influences."

**Bonding**

"E-eh, you're Tetsuya-kun's little sister right? Do you know what kind of thing he likes?" Momoi fidgeted nervously and bowed, feeling the thoughtful gaze of a protective younger sister on her.

"Porn." She replied in a deadpan tone but with all the surety of being right for once, slamming her fist onto her open palm.

"Setsu-chan, where did you hear that word from?" Tetsuya appeared beside her as Momoi flinched.

"Aobaka said it before. What's porn?" She chirped brightly. This was going to be a fun conversation.

**Celebration**

Birthdays. Everyone had them, so what made them even the slightest bit special? Setsuna felt tears welling up and she blinked furiously to stop them from flowing.

Spending time with her brother's friends, now through mutual acquaintance, also friends she could proudly call her own, friends who looked almost _happy_ to celebrate with her. What a time to be alive indeed.

**Realization**

The younger sister's aquamarine eyes widened at the sight of her brother crying silently into his pillow one night. _Why..? I thought he was happy with all his set of rainbow friends? So why?_

She curled up beside him and hugged him with the love only a little sister could give. He made no indication of having noticed her but his hands did shift around her back, grasping her in a limp hug.

**Little Sisters**

"You're going to Seirin nii-san? Then I'll join too! Wait for me okay?" The young teenager piped up cheerfully.

"You don't have to do this for me, with your grades I'm sure you could go somewhere better." Tetsuya intoned.

"Would you rather I go to Rakuzan instead? I heard Akashi-senpai is headed over there right?" She smirked, knowing her brother all too well and did a victory sign.

"... I'll see you next year. Don't cause any trouble just because I'm not in Teiko anymore." He sighed, packing his bag for school.

She just giggled innocently.

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><p><strong>Seirin<strong>

"Woah nii-san your 'light' is really weak." She scrutinized the soon-to-be upperclassman judgementally.

"But I guess he'll have to do if you wanna beat some sense into those idiots." A rainbow sneezed.

_Why do I feel such a sense of fear from this rude and puny girl?_ Kagami shuddered before lifting another burger to his gaping maw.

"I'm glad you approve." Kuroko smiled briefly. And cured aids with that mere upwards twitch of his lips.

**Motivation**

"Go nii-chan, whoop him so hard he will have to add the word defeat into his meagre vocabulary!" She screeched, waving a fist in the air.

The older brother waved a nonchalant hand at her.

_Who, just who is this girl? When did she appear on the bleachers? _Aida sweat-dropped when she noticed the female almost doppelganger of the ex-Generation of Miracles player, shouting support for her brother and derogatory terms at the opposing team.

**Height (Part 2)**

Tetsuya stared down at his crying sister contemplatively, wondering just why she had fallen into such a state of despair when she noticed his sudden growth spurt.

**Confession**

Several petals danced through the air, teasing the wind with their aroma as the teen gazed unblinkingly at the male who had thrust a scraggly bunch of flowers at her before bowing his head in wait of a reply.

She took a couple of steps towards him, gently pushing down his hands in rejection, an apologetic yet somehow sympathetic look thrown his way, perfected from years of intense training- more like giggling at Kissy from the bleachers as he turned down his hordes of fan-girls almost daily.

"I'm sorry but I have someone else in my heart."

_If he wanted to confess, he could have at least given me chocolates. What can I do with flowers?_

Hearing his confession being rejected, he turned away and ran.

The whole basketball team that was spying on her let out a sigh of relief. It seemed the protective older brother mode wouldn't have to be activated just yet.

Then what the younger girl said registered. _SOMEONE ELSE?!_

Tetsuya's eyes hardened into cold gems.

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><p><span><em>Okay Seirin arc over.<em>

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><p><strong>Generation of Miracles Interaction Extras<strong>

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><p><span>Yellow<span>

"Woah Kissy do you think you could help me copy all the lines I have to write because I back-sassed the teacher? You do have that kind of talent right?" A pair of innocent puppy dog eyes shone brilliantly at him, daring him to refuse her request.

Kise cried as he picked up his pen.

Red

"Akky." As he turned to acknowledge her, she ran her fingers quickly through the red locks, barely grazing the top while on her tiptoes.

And was promptly almost stabbed by a pair of scissors.

"So worth it~ Senpai finally noticed me~" She sang happily as she spun out of his reach and out the double doors of the gym.

Blue

"Aobaka, what's porn? You keep saying it like it's the best thing since sliced bread." The tanned teen sweated nervously as he felt a certain pair of blue eyes bore into his back.

"I'll tell you when you're older." He settled for ruffling her hair patronizingly.

"Boo, I'm only like a year younger than you." She puffed her lips up.

Purple

"Eyyyyy, Murry, I have this huge bag of candy I just can't seem to finish. Wanna share?" She pleaded, holding said bag in front of her.

The tall teen plucked the bag from the grasp and plopped a couple of candies back in her palms.

She placed the cola flavored sucker in her mouth and felt it safe to continue with the next phase of her cunning plan. "What's your shoe size Murry?"

He lifted his shoes up.

"Ah I see."

_Not sure why the girls in class begged me to do this but ah well. They bribed me with free food for a whole month. Dang can those girls cook up a storm._

Green

"Heyyy, Middy, what made you place horoscopes on such a high pedestal?" She glanced at the bespectacled teen who was shooting one basketball after another.

_Several vividly traumatizing war flashbacks play through his mind._

He shifted his black-rimmed glasses and made another perfect shot. "Man proposes, god disposes."

"Bleh that's so lame." She stuck out her tongue and meandered off slowly, looking for another target to annoy.

A small plush rabbit bounced off her roughly chopped raven locks. "That is your lucky item for today."

She picked it up and laughed, tossing it high up into the air before catching it.

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><p>I... tried? I can't even. buries face in a mountain of pillows

Her personality is a jumble? /nervous laughter

Please help me improve by commenting but thanks for making it all the way to the end of this pile of disgustingly fluffy randomness. Peace!


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